Choosing a Sperm Donor as a Lesbian Couple: What You Need to Know

More and more lesbian couples are starting families through treatment. Lesbian couples can use donor sperm for their treatment through a licensed fertility clinic. At London Sperm Bank we can help you with choosing donor sperm for treatment.

Choosing a donor is a uniquely personal decision, because the donor becomes part of your family’s story, not only during treatment, but as your child grows and learns more about how they came to be. There’s no single ‘right’ way to choose; what matters is finding a donor who feels right for you and your family.

Check out our donor programme

Can lesbian couples use donor sperm

Yes, lesbian couples can use donor sperm through any HFEA-licensed fertility clinic in the UK. London Sperm Bank helps you choose the right donor from our catalogue and supports you with ordering, storage and delivery. Your clinic will advise on, and carry out, your treatment.

How donor sperm fits into your treatment journey

Donor sperm can be part of your fertility journey in different ways. We offer different types of sperm samples, each tailored for specific fertility treatments, through IUI (washed), ICI (or IUI unwashed), IVF and ICSI.

Reciprocal IVF, sometimes called shared motherhood, is a form of IVF in which one partner provides the egg and the other carries the pregnancy. It’s a personal family-building decision rather than a separate type of sperm sample, and it’s worth discussing with your clinic alongside your donor choice, since it can affect timing and the number of samples you need.

Your clinic can explain which treatment may be appropriate for you. If you’re still researching clinics or treatment options, the HFEA’s Choose a Fertility Clinic tool lists licensed clinics across the UK, and you may also wish to explore information from London Women’s Clinic.

Choosing a sperm donor as a lesbian couple

You’re always in control of choosing your sperm donor. This is a deeply personal decision, and there isn’t an objectively ‘right’ donor – only one who feels right for you and your family.

We encourage couples to first discuss what matters most to them. Perhaps it’s physical characteristics or heritage, or things such as education, career, interests or personality. Even choosing one or two priorities can make a large catalogue much easier to navigate. Recipients often begin with logical criteria around characteristics, but the final decision more often comes from a sense of connection once they read a donor’s profile and personal messages. Some of these are incredibly thoughtful and personal, so we encourage recipients to read several profiles rather than searching for the ‘perfect’ donor.

What information can you see about a donor

Physical characteristics – Hair colour, eye colour, ethnicity

Donor personality and staff impressions – Education and career background, hobbies and interests, skills, personal values and beliefs

Family and medical history – relevant health background shared by the donor and their family

Donor messages/personal profile information – a personal statement, and often a longer, more personal message from the donor, available once you register and download the full profile.
Other non-identifying information available in your account once registered.

Donor Availability and Planning Ahead

When you first choose a donor, availability is determined mainly by whether that donor still has a UK family slot remaining in line with the HFEA family limit. Tthhis is separate from how many vials happen to be in stock. Once you’ve secured a family slot with a donor, that slot is reserved for your family, but vial stock for that donor is still finite and allocated first-come, first-served, so future availability from the same donor isn’t guaranteed unless you purchase vials in advance.

For this reason, we encourage recipients thinking about future children with the same donor to consider purchasing enough vials for their future plans as early as possible. If you haven’t yet chosen a clinic, London Sperm Bank can store your purchased vials until you’re ready to begin treatment.

Importantly for couples: both partners share the same family slot once it’s secured with a donor, so if you’d like the option for either partner to use that donor now or in future treatment, this is normally possible, provided vials remain available. Speak to our team about purchasing and storing vials if this matters to your family plans.

Donor screening and safety

All LSB donors are screened in line with the HFEA Code of Practice and SaBTO Microbiological Safety Guidelines, so recipients can be confident that every donor meets our stringent eligibility, screening and quality requirements. Every donor sample also undergoes rigorous quality assessment by our expert andrologists, to help ensure optimal sperm survival after freezing.

CMV Status

Cytomegalovirus (CMV) is a common virus most people are infected with at some point, often with no symptoms; once infected it stays dormant in the body for life. Donor CMV status refers to whether they’ve had a previous infection:

CMV negative: no antibodies or evidence of previous infection.

CMV positive: this will be evidence of past infection, confirmed no active infection.

Whether this matters depends on your own CMV status and your clinic’s approach, so it’s worth discussing with your clinician. See our CMV page or NHS guidance.

Genetic Carrier Status

This checks whether a donor carries a gene for a specific inherited condition. Being a carrier doesn’t mean they’re affected themselves, but it can matter if you’re a carrier of the same condition too. Speak to your clinic or a genetic counsellor, or see our genetic carrier donor page.

Sample types: samples are classified by MOT, which helps determine treatment a vial is suitable for. This is distinct from choosing the donor themselves

If you are ready to take the first steps, apply to become a sperm donor with London Sperm Bank.

Choosing the right donor sperm sample type

We classify donor samples based on motile sperm concentration (MOT), which refers to the number of moving sperm per millilitre after thawing. MOT helps determine which treatments a particular vial is suitable for. It’s a laboratory measure, it is important to understand that it does not determine the likelihood of a successful pregnancy.

We offer four different types of sperm samples; IUI, ICI, IVF and ICSI each tailored for specific fertility treatments: Sample types

Using donor sperm for IUI, IVF or shared motherhood

The number and type of samples you’re likely to need can vary depending on your treatment route. IUI treatment typically uses one prepared (washed) sample per cycle, while IVF and ICSI may involve creating and storing embryos, which can change how many vials your clinic recommends. Reciprocal IVF (shared motherhood) follows the same sample and embryo-creation process as IVF what differs is the family-building plan of who provides the egg and who carries the pregnancy, not the sperm sample itself.

Because these differences affect sample type, vial numbers and cost, it’s worth having this conversation with your clinic before you finalise your donor order. Our sample types page explains IUI, ICI, IVF and ICSI samples in more detail, and your clinic, or the HFEA’s Choose a Fertility Clinic tool, can help you weigh up which treatment route suits your family.

How to order donor sperm from LSB

Once you place an online order, samples can be promptly dispatched to your clinic, ensuring a seamless and efficient process.

Here is our 6 step process.

Registration & clinic requirements – Before you can place an order, you must be a registered patient at a licensed clinic. This is a requirement to ensure that your chosen sperm donor is suitable for your treatment. Alternatively, you can choose to keep your sperm vials in storage at LSB until you have a chosen clinic.

Choose your sperm donor – Once registered, your account will be instantly activated, allowing you to place an order. Order at least three weeks before the first day of your treatment cycle to avoid delays or late ordering fees. LSB handles the entire process, working directly with your clinic to verify donor suitability and confirm delivery.

Private vs NHS Funded Patients – Accessing donor sperm depends on whether your treatment is privately funded or supported by the NHS. If you are a private patient, you can follow the standard registration and ordering process. For NHS-funded patients, a unique code from your NHS treatment centre is required at checkout to ensure funding is applied correctly. If you are unsure about your eligibility for NHS-funded treatment, your clinic can provide guidance and next steps.

Order Donor Sperm Online – You will be required to be logged in, to enable you to search for a donor using filters to match your desired traits. If you are considering future treatments or siblings, you may want to purchase multiple vials from the same donor. The checkout process is simple: select your treatment clinic, enter billing details, agree to the terms & conditions, and complete secure online payment. After placing your order, you will receive a confirmation email outlining the next steps.

Verification & Delivery – As soon as the order is submitted, we will contact your clinic to verify all details before dispatch. To complete this process, you will be prompted to submit a consent form – your order cannot be processed without it. Once verification is complete, we will arrange prompt delivery to your clinic. You can track your order status through your account and opt in for email updates to receive real-time notifications.
Order Tracking & Updates –You can track your order status through your account and opt in for email updates to receive real-time notifications. If you need assistance, you can reach out to our customer service team.

Legal and Counselling

Treatment should take place through an HFEA-licensed clinic. Where it does, the donor is not the legal parent of any child born from the donation. Legal parenthood for you and your partner depends on your circumstances, so discuss this with your clinic and, if needed, seek independent legal advice. See HFEA guidance or our legal considerations page. Your clinic will also offer implications counselling to talk through the emotional, practical and legal aspects, helping you prepare for future conversations with your child.

FAQ’s

Can lesbian couples use donor sperm in the UK?

Yes, through any HFEA-licensed fertility clinic. LSB helps with donor choice, your clinic advises on treatment route.

How do we choose a sperm donor as a couple?

Donors shown as available in our catalogues have at least one UK family slot remaining. We’d suggest browsing and filtering the catalogue for the characteristics that matter most to you, then registering and logging in to see fuller donor details, including family and medical history and any personal messages, before downloading profiles for the donors you’re considering.

Do we need to choose IUI (washed), ICI (or IUI unwashed), IVF and ICSI before selecting a donor?

It’s worth discussing early with your clinic, since it affects sample type and quantity, see London Women’s Clinic for a full comparison.

What donor information can we see before treatment?

Non-identifying details: physical characteristics, background, values, and health information like CMV and genetic carrier status.

Can we use the same donor for future siblings?

Possibly, once you’ve secured a family slot with a donor, that slot is reserved for your family. Tfahough vial stock isn’t guaranteed unless purchased in advance. We’d encourage discussing future plans with our team early, and with your clinic.

Can either partner use the same donor for future siblings?

Yes, because a family slot is shared between both partners, either of you can normally use the same donor for current or future treatment, provided vials remain available. It’s worth purchasing and storing vials in advance if this matters to your family plans.

Can each partner use the same donor in future treatment?

Yes, depending on availability and your treatment plan. Speak to your clinic if this matters to you.

Can our child find out who the donor is?

Yes, UK donors aren’t anonymous, and donor-conceived people can request identifying information from the HFEA at 18. See HFEA guidance.

Is the sperm donor the legal parent?

No, not through a licensed clinic but legal parenthood for you and your partner depends on your circumstances, so seek independent legal advice if needed. See HFEA guidance.

What if our chosen donor is a genetic carrier?

It doesn’t mean the donor is affected themselves, but it can matter if you carry the same condition, speak to your clinic or see our genetic carrier donor page.

Does CMV status matter when choosing a donor?

It can, depending on your own status and your clinic’s approach worth discussing with your clinician.

Can we use LSB samples for home insemination?

No, LSB samples cannot be supplied for home insemination; they must be received by and used for treatment at, an HFEA-licensed fertility clinic.

How do we order donor sperm from LSB?

Next Steps

Choosing a sperm donor is a uniquely personal decision because the donor becomes part of your family’s story not only during treatment, but as your child grows and learns more about how they came to be. There is no single ‘right’ way to choose; what matters is finding a donor who feels right for you and your family.

Ready to take next steps

Browse our donor catalogue to explore available UK-recruited sperm donors.

Speak to the London Sperm Bank team if you’d like guidance choosing a donor or understanding your options.

Learn more about treatment options at London Women’s Clinic if you need advice on your treatment route.

Find your Perfect Donor

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